FROM BOTH SIDES NOW

Naming something or giving it a title is a frustrating exercise for me because I want it to be accurate and descriptive.  For 12 years, my blog posts had the name BLOG. I know what that means but it sounds like blob to me and now that I am on Substack and get published in other places, I wanted a name.  When words or phrases appear in my mind for no apparent reason, I know there must be a reason, even if I don’t understand it at the time.  When those words keep repeating themselves, I take it as a message to pay attention, and then, following Mary Oliver’s admonition, be astonished and tell about it.

The words “from both sides now” showed up right on time but I could not remember the lyrics or the song immediately.  And then, of course, it came to me, the song Joni Mitchell wrote in the 60’s.  I believe it has a fascinating history and since I am keenly interested in the origins of things, I will lay it out for you here.  And, the phrase “both sides now’ has other implications because I have seen life longer than most here.  In the words of J. K, Simmons in that insurance ad, “We know a lot of things because we have seen a lot of things.”

Joni introduces the song this way at the White Swan in Leicester, England on September 16, 1967. Interestingly, she gave the same introduction – word for word – on October 12, 1967 at the Second Fret in Philadelphia:

“This is a song that talks about sides to things. In most cases there are both sides to things and in a lot of cases there are more than just both. His and hers. His and theirs. But in this song there are only two sides to things… there’s reality and I guess what you might call fantasy. There’s enchantment and dis-enchantment, what we’re taught to believe things are and what they really are.”

In late 1967, she introduced the song like this:

“A short time ago, a friend gave me a book called Henderson the Rain King and I started to read it but I never got finished; I got halfway through and sort of left the whole plot up in the air, literally, and got inspired to write the next song. Now, Henderson, the character in the book–is, was, one of those people who was born with everything going for them, at least it looked that way on paper. He was a multi-millionaire and, uh, that was a good start, I suppose. And, uh… But he wasn’t happy. He’d been married twice and was contemplating a third marriage and wasn’t really sure that he liked her very much. And he was very guilty about his wealth–because it was inherited. And so he tried to be earthy and get his hands into the soil. He tried pig ranching, he figured that was pretty earthy, and, uh, decided that he didn’t like pigs either.

“So one day his friends, who were about to leave for Africa on a honeymoon, said, “Well, why don’t you come along with us?” And, uh, that sounds really peculiar but they were getting married for something like the third time themselves. So he said “Well, I’ll go along with you” and he did. And while he was up in the plane to Africa to find out what life was all about for him, he looked out of the plane window and he said, um, you know, “Look at those clouds down there; it’s very strange to look at the clouds from up above them. I remember as a boy having dreamed up at clouds a lot and having seen the cloud from both sides now, I suppose I shouldn’t really be amazed by anything.” And I like the idea of clouds from both sides and… (strums) some other things from both sides (tunes). I call my song “From Both Sides, Now.”.

So, there’s the background for the name and here’s the clincher. Like Henderson in the book, I have had and continue to have an unbridled passion for life, living fully, and I continue to look at the clouds from both sides.  The year following the introduction of this song, 1968, was s seminal year for me for three big reasons.

• I was involved in the civil rights movement as a 31- year old social activist and met MLK, Jr. in March, in Detroit, less than a month before he was assassinated. That changed the trajectory of my life and my career.  I have written about that elsewhere.

• My third child, a son, was born and I began to make plans to leave my job, as well as my career, and go back to graduate school with my wife and our three children.

• I had no idea how the rest of my life would play out, but I trusted myself, my instincts and my beliefs to move forward not knowing.

Some called it foolish and others called it faith and said they wished they had the courage to do something similar although they admitted it looked somewhat radical.

A large theme in my life has been change, for myself and helping others through that process.  My tagline for years has been “Change is inevitable. Plan carefully.”   I believe we must learn, grow and change if we are to evolve as human beings.  What I have seen lately on many fronts is discouraging but I also see signs of great encouragement because I see life from both sides now.  When I stop and think about my life then and now, that is also both sides and I am grateful to have both, at least thus far.

Five years ago, I penned the following: https://garygruber.com/then-and-now/

P.S.  Joni Mitchell, who joined the rest of us octogenarians last year, is having her first headlining concert in 24 years on October 19, at The Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles, at age 81.