“Top Ten Afflictions Among Educators”

10. MABS – Myopic, Apathetic Blame Syndrome.  A dis-ease characterized by lack of vision, indifference and the attempt to shift responsibility to other people as in “that’s not my job.”
9.  PEST – Plasmapheric Educational System Transference. A condition recognized in those who drain the organism and then because of inactivity offer bureaucracy as a reason for the illness.
8. CRUD – Cholangitis Re-occurrence Under Duress – the inflammation of bile ducts marked by pain in the upper right quadrant of the abdomen, treated by strong drugs or surgery.  Obstruction is a condition occurring when one wishes to block progress.
7. DEAD – Deeply Entrenched Atrophic Dementia. most often seen in those who mistake the edge of the rut for the horizon.  Seen in those in a progressive state of mental decline with memory and judgment beginning to fail.  Can sometimes be reversed. Often not recognized by those who have it.
6. PAIN – Psychogenic Aphakic Intestinal Nonsense. Cannot swallow pride or much else. A purely mental condition afflicting those who are uncomfortable with change, fearful, insecure and may be heard to whine to colleagues.  Radical treatment often consists of removal to a new location.
5. BORE – Big Opthalmic Rectal Enteritis. Crossing of certain ocular and rectal functions affecting one’s outlook and in extreme cases can lead to impaction. Treatment includes change of attitude.
4. LAME – Loud Aching Martyred Epicondylitis – those affected often complain about carrying a heavy load and wish others worked as hard as they do. Can be very contagious.
3. GRIPE – Glottic Repetition Instead of Pitching in Energetically – self explanatory but recognized because those so affected would rather talk about it than do something creative to solve it.  Also seem to enjoy hearing themselves rather than listening to others.
2. ARUMP – Arteriosclerosis Revealing Unified Mental Proliferation.  A hardening of the institutional arteries that prevents flow and can spread if not kept in check.  Sometimes used as a prefix to meetings.
1. SOSOB – Same Old Same Old Beliefs or in medical terminolgy Systemic Osteolysis/Schizophrenic Obsessive Burnout. Becoming stuck hard and fast and refusing to consider new paradigms.  Result is often seen in giving up and giving in rather than learning something new and improving both self and the system.